Monday, January 16, 2012

The Idea of Home

This post has been moved to the new site. Read it there!

It bothers me. I can't seem to define it properly enough to figure out where mine is- where mine should properly be. It seems to me that home should be stable, not fluid - home should be someplace you can always go back to, not some place you are borrowing for a certain amount of time and will leave when it no longer is yours.

"This is my temporary home, it's not where I belong,
Windows and rooms that I'm passing through,
This is just a stop on the way to where I'm going,
This is my temporary home."
~Temporary Home by Carrie Underwood

Up until September of last year, I had a very solid, permanent home that fulfilled all of my needs. It was someplace that would not change, because although my family had moved relatively recently, it was a place we were planning to live in for a very long time.

Moreover, we moved from one comfortable place to another- from a place that we knew through long experience to a house across the street from my grandmother, in a neighborhood that was familiar to us already. So, you see, I was set, and meditations of this nature did not even occur to me.

"When I was a child, I spake as a child,
I understood as a child, I thought as a child:
but when I became a man, I put away childish things."
~1 Corinthians 13:11, KJV

Then I turned 18 and went away to college, and suddenly my life changed. All of a sudden, I didn't live in a permanent, stable home with my parents and siblings; I lived in the lower half of a house, with a large living room, a crazy combination of silverware and lack thereof, and eight other girls, and now I live in an even smaller apartment with three others, freshmen all, and not enough spices to flavor a turkey.

Family Home Evening, what family? We formed groups, we drew together and pretended we were a family, but no amount of pretending concealed the fact that none of us really knew what we were doing, and we were just trying to make our way in this crazy world. With stability torn away, what else is there left to make a home?